I want to be alone, with you.
Does that make sense?
I want to be alone
I don’t want to talk to you
I don’t want to do anything
I just want to be alone, but with you there
Because you won’t tell me I need to talk, or be anything other than what I am being
And maybe just being with you
I’ll be able to talk to someone
Express the feelings that swallow me like a black hole
Pulling me in
Pulling me under
You don’t ask that of me
So I feel like I could give it
Does that make sense?
I doubt it
I’m rambling
Sitting in a lavender scented tub with a damp notebook and a hand trying to fly away from me
I don’t want to tell you what is happening, but I also do
I want you to know
To help me lift some of this weight off my shoulders
Not pick it up for me – you wouldn’t, and I would hate you if you tried.
But just keep me company while I set it down for a while
A rest between sets
A momentary pause
To breathe
And analyze where to go from here
Because in between the call that never came
And the texts with no reply
And the words still ringing in my ears
Between the voices in my head telling me to stop
Not to try
That I will only ever fail, at everything
I think of your face
So, yeah
I just want to be alone, with you
It’s all I want to ask of you
